So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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