I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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