Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My vagina is very pro this idea
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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