You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize