My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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