PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
