I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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