I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He better not be in your backpack
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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