you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
did you just send me my own nude
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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