Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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