I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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