TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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