a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
