Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
