Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
