I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
