You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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