I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
