erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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