Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
