Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
