Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you will always have a special place in my vag
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
