I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if only i could text you this smell
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
