whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
