Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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