and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
