We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Randomize