I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
