oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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