I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
