come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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