i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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