Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
