CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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