Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
