Have you finally orgasmed yet?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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