Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
