My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
