Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just invented taco cereal.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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