i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
