oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
