It's Friday. Sex?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
try to milk me bitch
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
