Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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