have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
