You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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