no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
