Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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