just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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