My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
