i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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