Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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