Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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