Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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