Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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