I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
