Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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