we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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