the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
