is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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