I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
