She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
