Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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