the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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